My --- Is Cold
by DatAssRomano
Summary: When Francis suggested they start doing it in other places, Lovino wasn't expecting to get his vital regions frozen off. Well, at least they weren't in a freezer...right? Except if they were in a freezer HE WOULDN'T SEE ELIZAVETA WATCHING THEM. ((Heavy Framano))


**# My Ass Is Cold(Framano) #**

**France & Romano are already together in this. Framano is usually rape, which sucks. Francis isn't THAT bad, jeez. Mkay? Also I need ideas. I live for requests! Er...also, if you don't have any ideas, songs also help. **

**This has nothing to do with the fic.**

**Enjoy.**

### ####

"You stupid bastard!"

"What did I do, mon cher~?"

Lovino let out a heavy, frustrated sigh and slammed his head against the table. Which he was currently sprawled out upon naked. And it was _fucking cold_, not that Francis seemed to care. He shot a dark look at the man leaning over him, hoping that one day he'd develop x-ray or laser vision and then he'd be able to zap the dumb fuck into oblivion. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like this was happening anytime soon. Love was clearly overrated, if he had become stupid enough to agree with the blonde's idiotic plans.

"When you suggested we fuck somewhere outside of the bedroom, I was _not_ thinking about the fucking balcony!"

"But...the balcony is romantic, non?"

"No! It's the middle of fucking winter and I can feel my ass getting glued to the damn table!"

A smirk flashed across Francis's face, a very dangerous smirk. Well, it was dangerous for Lovino in any case. Not so much for Elizaveta, who was plugging her nose to stop the flow of blood as she secretly wished she'd installed a higher-quality camera. The Italian huffed and made to sit up, muttering under his breath. He was immediately halted by a hand, which he stared at for a moment before glaring once again at its' owner, trying to pretend like he wasn't glancing down at Francis's dick every five seconds. Well, who could blame him? There was a sexy dickwad of a Frenchman in front of him, he was naked, and he just really wanted-

_-Elizaveta to SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH HER SQUEALING HE COULD HEAR IT FROM HERE-_

"Hurry the hell up then, I'm freezing my dick off here."

Francis's grin pissed him off royally, because if it wasn't already bad enough that he was bottoming, the stupid idiot's smug look at getting his way made it oh so much worse. Not that he ever ended up topping the blonde; it was more a matter of pride than what he preferred. (He actually liked bottoming, but it wasn't like he was going to say that out loud) One day he would wipe that smug look off of the stupid frog's face. One fateful day. Lovino searched his brain for options.

1- Escape with his dick not frozen off and be left unsatisfied for the next week.

2- Let Francis fuck him!

3- Let Francis fuck him.

4- Let Francis fuck him...

_..number four it was._

"Shut up. Stupid bastard," he mumbled, cutting off Francis's stupidly obnoxious laugh effectively by kissing him. Thank god it had worked, Lovino thought mildly as he closed his eyes and let the Frenchman's warm hands explore his body. The sensations of the other touching him seemed even more electrifying than usual, perhaps because of the sharp contrast of his body's chill. A shiver rippled through Lovino's body and he shifted forward, looping his legs around Francis's waist tightly. The blonde's hands drifted along his body, trailing down his hips, thighs, and then grabbing his ass.

Lovino let out a choked gasp as a finger unexpectedly prodded at his hole, entering with a slight stinging sensation. He tugged at Francis's hair to show his displeasure at the shock as two fingers entered him and began stretching lightly. Francis kissed his collarbone comfortingly (although he really didn't need to because let's face it; they're both total sluts) and slid his other hand up to Lovino's curl to twirl it between his fingers. A moan escaped the Italian and he rocked his hips forward roughly, trying to get across that he was impatient.

A chuckle from Francis had him glaring again, although the gold-green gaze was hazy now, clouded with pleasure. "What's wrong, Lovino~?"

"Y-you know, bastard!"

"Non~ You will have to say it~"

"You drag me out in the f-fucking cold, and n-now you want me to _beg_?!"

"Oui~"

Lovino groaned, rolling his eyes. "And why would I be so _desperate_ that I would- ahh!"

Francis brushed his fingers against the other's prostate, raising an eyebrow. "Why, I wonder~?" Lovino had his eyes closed, and was taking short, unsteady breaths through his parted, slightly bruised lips. The Frenchman in front of him smirked, capturing those lips and getting nipped in the process as Lovino melted into the kiss helplessly. Then he drew back, removing his fingers and watching the reaction of the flushed brunette. At first the glare started powering up and then it was wiped away.

Surprisingly enough, he leaned back onto the table, his self-control slipping away as one hand strayed down to his length. "P-please, Francis," he panted, caught up in the moment. Francis barely suppressed a nosebleed at the sight as Lovino's half-lidded gaze flickered over him, drifting down visibly. A small smirk appeared as he tilted his head to the side and looked up.

"I need your cock, Francis~ Please~?"

Francis chuckled, feeling the slight unease he always felt when the brunette acted coy. Only he got to see Lovino like this, and it was a sight he wouldn't trade for the world. Although the desperate whore look worked for the Italian, he wasn't sure about the dirty talking. It almost sounded like Lovino was mocking him, because it was completely out of character.

He slammed into Lovino suddenly, feeling a rush as the other let out a breathy moan. "More," the Italian growled out, shifting his hips up. Francis smirked and sucked lightly on his collarbone as he thrust again. This time he got a barely-controlled scream of his name, and felt a grin appear on his face.

"Fra-_ahh_!"

"...mnm...?"

"H-harder, bastard!"

Well, if he insisted.

It took Francis about five seconds to find Lovino's prostate again and reduce the other to a few broken fragments of his name and frantic begging for more. Then the pleasure overtook the both of them and there was nothing but white noise as Francis collapsed on the table as well.

Lovino blinked open one eye after a few minutes, feeling the dizziness fade away. Everything in him was telling him not to move, but...

"Hey, bastard."

"..."

"...I think if we stay like this my ass is going to freeze to the table. Let's move."

Francis didn't react, and a scowl appeared on Lovino's face as he shoved the other onto the snow-covered floor of the balcony. He stood, wincing a little at the slight pain, and stretched. "I'll consider round two if you carry me to the shower," he suggested, plucking a tomato from a nearby plant and biting into it. Francis stood up immediately and slung Lovino over his shoulder carelessly, ignoring the other's protests and cursing.

### ####

"Damn it," Elizaveta muttered. Kiku handed her another tissue and pressed the stop button on the recording, turning back to Eduard and smiling faintly. It was good the boy was secretly a pervert; otherwise they'd have only Kiku to deal with the technology.

"Er...what's wrong?" the Estonian inquired.

"I didn't think of installing a camera in the shower!"

"...I installed one in there, just in case."

Elizaveta's grin widened. "I knew we had you here for a reason, my boy."


End file.
